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[personal profile] eclectic_boy
(Not that I expect any of you would be in danger of believing this b.s., but just to forewarn you...)

Caller: Is this Jim Moskowitz?
Me: Yes
Caller: I'm calling about your subscription to Cruise Travel World [a magazine I was given a free one-year subscription to by Norwegian Cruise Lines when I took a cruise in 2006]. First, are you receiving your issues all right?
Me: I don't think I've been subscribed to that magazine for several years now.
C: Oh, I apologize sir, sometimes our database makes mistakes. But we publish a large number of magazines. It's possible this was supposed to be regarding another one of our magazines. What other magazines do you subscribe to?
Me: What??
C: For instance, do you subscribe to TV Guide, Reader's Digest, or National Geographic? [hmm, what a coincidence; he just named three of the most-subscribed-to magazines in the country]
Me: No, I don't
C: But you do subscribe to other magazines, right?
Me: Yes, I subscribe to The Atlantic, to Harper's, to Games...
C: Okay, I see that now; this was supposed to be a call about The Atlantic; that's one of ours. I see what happened. The code was entered wrong. You know how it is, a lot of times the data entry is being done by a teenager, and they get so busy talking about or thinking about their girlfriend or boyfriend that they just enter things wrong. I've corrected their mistake. Now, are you receiving your issues of The Atlantic all right?
Me: .....yes.
C: Good. Well, your subscription is about to expire, and I'm able to offer you a discounted renewal. Instead of $39, you'll pay only $25.
Me: Wait, I'm looking at the magazine right now, and it says my subscription doesn't expire until May 2011!
C: That's not what it says, sir. Are you looking at your magazine label? Do you see the top line of information above your name? On the right side it will say the month and then a two-digit number.
Me: Right, it says May 2011!
C: No, the two digit number is the day of the month. That magazine subscription ended on May 11th of this year. I'll tell you what happened, though. Often a couple of issues are still in the pipeline when you reach your end of subscription date, so you'll receive them even though your subscription has expired. That's what happened in this case.
Me: Wait, I'm looking at a couple of my other magazines' labels here. This magazine's label says Mar11, this one Nov10. Are you telling me all the magazines I subscribe to just happen to have end dates on the tenth or eleventh of the month?? That's a pretty weird coincidence.
C: Sir, that's what those two digits mean. I'm calling as a courtesy because a year ago when you subscribed to The Atlantic, we agreed to extend to you a discounted rate of $25 per year, and that when your subscription was up we would call you again to give you that special offer again. This is that phone call.
Me: Well your memory must be either a lot better or a lot worse than mine, because I remember subscribing to The Atlantic just this Spring, at a rate of $12/year. So
C: [click]
Me: ...so you're going to hang up on me now, aren't you. What a scambag.
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