The Year in Review
Dec. 30th, 2008 11:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eclectic_boyI'm on Boltbus on a shopping trip to New York. To pass the time, I just entered boingboing's "Summarize 2008" contest. I decided to do it as a text adventure.
You are standing in a field. There is a signpost here.
>READ SIGN
The sign reads "Now entering 2008"
> AHEAD
You approach a polling place. There are supporters standing outside the door offering you literature.
>TAKE LITERATURE
[The Obama flyer and Clinton pamphlet] Taken.
> READ LITERATURE
You are now Informed. [Your confusion level has just gone up 1 point]
> CAST PRIMARY VOTE
Done. As you leave the polling place, you emerge on the ocean shore.
>LOOK
Waves crash against the sand. A distant speedboat is approaching, rapidly. There is a gun mounted on its bow.
>SAY "AHOY"
"Avast, ya swab! Be this the Gulf of Somalia?"
>SAY "NO"
The pirate vessel speeds off. A figure is running along the shore towards you.
>EXAMINE FIGURE
She's wearing a track suit covered in flag designs, and carries a flaming torch
>FREE TIBET
A squad of security personnel divert the runner into an armored vehicle before she can get near you. The vehicle speeds off. The wind seems to be picking up.
>LOOK AT SKY
You see a hurricane. A warning announcement comes over the beach's loudspeakers, saying everyone must evacuate Galveston.
>EVACUATE
You flee to Georgia. You are standing on a main avenue, lined by stores and houses. Tanks are rolling towards you.
>SHOUT "HELLO" IN GEORGIAN
A curse in Russian is your reply. The tanks get closer.
> RUN INTO HOUSE
There is a homeowner here. He is looking at a piece of paper and crying.
>READ PAPER
It is titled "variable rate mortgage", but as you try to read it your eyes begin to glaze over at the complex financial terminology.
>SAY "CAN I HELP?"
The man looks up at you gratefully. "Well, you could give me some money..."
>GIVE MAN MONEY
You don't have any cash, only stock certificates and oil futures.
>SELL STOCKS
Join the club. They're suddenly not worth very much.
>SELL OIL
Funny, you were sure you were getting a bargain when you bought it in June for only $100/barrel. Now it's worth $35. You give the man the money you raised and walk out of the house. There is a general election here.
>VOTE OBAMA
You have elected a President. [Your hope just went up by one point.] You hear a loud noise.
>LISTEN
There is gunfire coming from the direction of Mumbai.
>HELP VICTIMS
You donate to Doctors Without Borders and continue to watch the siege on television.
>CHANGE CHANNEL
There is a governor with too much hair here. He is covered in scandal. This reminds you of a governor with no hair who also got covered in scandal several months ago.
>SIGH AT THE WORLD
Congratulations! You have reached the end of level 2008. Press [Return] to begin the next level.
You are standing in a field. There is a signpost here.
>READ SIGN
The sign reads "Now entering 2008"
> AHEAD
You approach a polling place. There are supporters standing outside the door offering you literature.
>TAKE LITERATURE
[The Obama flyer and Clinton pamphlet] Taken.
> READ LITERATURE
You are now Informed. [Your confusion level has just gone up 1 point]
> CAST PRIMARY VOTE
Done. As you leave the polling place, you emerge on the ocean shore.
>LOOK
Waves crash against the sand. A distant speedboat is approaching, rapidly. There is a gun mounted on its bow.
>SAY "AHOY"
"Avast, ya swab! Be this the Gulf of Somalia?"
>SAY "NO"
The pirate vessel speeds off. A figure is running along the shore towards you.
>EXAMINE FIGURE
She's wearing a track suit covered in flag designs, and carries a flaming torch
>FREE TIBET
A squad of security personnel divert the runner into an armored vehicle before she can get near you. The vehicle speeds off. The wind seems to be picking up.
>LOOK AT SKY
You see a hurricane. A warning announcement comes over the beach's loudspeakers, saying everyone must evacuate Galveston.
>EVACUATE
You flee to Georgia. You are standing on a main avenue, lined by stores and houses. Tanks are rolling towards you.
>SHOUT "HELLO" IN GEORGIAN
A curse in Russian is your reply. The tanks get closer.
> RUN INTO HOUSE
There is a homeowner here. He is looking at a piece of paper and crying.
>READ PAPER
It is titled "variable rate mortgage", but as you try to read it your eyes begin to glaze over at the complex financial terminology.
>SAY "CAN I HELP?"
The man looks up at you gratefully. "Well, you could give me some money..."
>GIVE MAN MONEY
You don't have any cash, only stock certificates and oil futures.
>SELL STOCKS
Join the club. They're suddenly not worth very much.
>SELL OIL
Funny, you were sure you were getting a bargain when you bought it in June for only $100/barrel. Now it's worth $35. You give the man the money you raised and walk out of the house. There is a general election here.
>VOTE OBAMA
You have elected a President. [Your hope just went up by one point.] You hear a loud noise.
>LISTEN
There is gunfire coming from the direction of Mumbai.
>HELP VICTIMS
You donate to Doctors Without Borders and continue to watch the siege on television.
>CHANGE CHANNEL
There is a governor with too much hair here. He is covered in scandal. This reminds you of a governor with no hair who also got covered in scandal several months ago.
>SIGH AT THE WORLD
Congratulations! You have reached the end of level 2008. Press [Return] to begin the next level.
